Keto Diet Before and After
While thinking about writing about body acceptance, I struggle not to diminish my own feelings about and self-related struggles at all due to the much greater societal issues like racism, political unrest, lack of good healthcare, job losses, etc. I decided to write about this again anyway, because I know when I find stories from other people going through the same thing I feel less alone.
I made more Bob pants, this time in the size recommended for my measurements instead of the smallest size I thought I could make and get on my body. Last time I believe I made size eight pants, which I can put on, but moving around in them in the ways that I want to move my body in a pair of pants caused some seam rips. This time I made size fourteen pants and I love the way they feel when I move, and I love the way they look. I was vanity sizing on my own, based on numbers that I should just forget about. These pants are made from linen canvas that I got from Fabric.com. The top is an Ogden Cami with some rayon challis also from Fabric.com.
I’ve been on an intuitive eating journey for the last year after a year and a half before that of eating almost no carbs. Based on everything I’ve read about intuitive eating, gaining weight after strict restriction is always normal. Sometimes it just sucks when we live in a culture that focuses on thin bodies being superior to other bodies. I’ve internalized that strongly, and have parents and some grandparents that were never/still are never satisfied with their bodies and were/are almost always on a diet of sorts, or saying they need to be on a diet. I do not want to carry that legacy forward. I love that there is so much more body positivity now, but it does take time and mindfulness to catch the gremlin thoughts that say over and over that my body should be thinner and it’s not good enough right now. Some days I have no problem with this and go about living in my body in a joyful way, and other times I get caught in a comparison trap, comparing my body to those of thinner folks, or to my previous thinner self. It’s hard to be positive about it every single day.
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Sewing helps with this, because as I outgrew every single pair of pants from when I was on the keto diet and I don’t have a pair of jeans that fits (or any other pants), I’m just going to replace them with some that I make. I haven’t weighed myself since last December, but previous clothes do not fit. It’s disheartening sometimes, but I also am gaining joy from learning a new skill, and elastic waist pants are the best.
One thing that has helped recently is by following the hashtags on Instagram for #size14 and #size12 to flood more of my feed with bodies that look like mine and I can see are beautiful. I also follow some intuitive eating/body positivity accounts like this one and this one and this one. Do any of you struggle with body love and acceptance? What helps you?
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